05 Jul Managing Finances After Your Husbands Death
Living and dying are two things that every single person on the planet have in common, no matter their race, socioeconomic status, or nationality. But we often don’t know when death will come for us or our loved ones.
If an illness is something your husband is facing, then death may not be such a surprise for you. But if death happens through an accident and is unexpected, then it can be especially devastating. And if you have children in the home, the tragedy is even deeper. The death of a spouse can happen anytime, at any age, but the trauma is still very real, no matter when it happens. The emotional suffering is difficult enough to deal with, but the financial burden can be difficult as well.
The Shocking Facts
The number of widows in our society is growing exponentially. In fact, it’s increasing faster than almost any other people group today. This is due, in part, to the aging of the baby boomer generation. Some statistics estimate that there will soon be 12 million widows in the United States, and that number will increase by 1 million more per year.
It’s no secret that wives outlive their husbands more often than husbands outlive their wives; many women survive 15 years longer than their husbands. Surprisingly, the average age of widowhood is just 59.4 years, and 80% of women are single when they themselves pass away.
As you can see, it’s imperative that women have a plan to manage their finances after the death of their husbands.
The Emotional Impact of Grief
Learning to not just survive but to thrive after the death of your husband isn’t easy. If he was sick for a long time, you may feel guilty for feeling somewhat relieved that all the hospital stays, medicines, and treatments are finally over. You could feel frightened at the idea of living on your own and taking care of yourself. If your husband took care of all the money matters, you may feel overwhelmed and stressed at the thought of managing the finances after his death, and to do it all on your own. The fear and numbness can even seem paralyzing at times. You could be feeling quite alone, but remember that you’re not.
Realize that all these emotions are normal, and it’s okay to feel afraid, grieved, lost, angry, traumatized, and vulnerable. Don’t suffer alone; reach out to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor to help you navigate the deep waters of grief.
Three Stages of Widowhood
There are three common stages of widowhood:
Stage 1 – Grief: Widows are especially vulnerable at the beginning. Some of the most beneficial things they can do are to take care of themselves by exercising, resting, eating nutritiously, and maintaining spiritual practices. They need to be heard and understood by those who care about them, and they need to avoid making any big, irreversible decisions at this time. Financially, they need to determine their cash flow, immediate needs, and to understand how to file for death benefits.
Stage 2 – Growth: At this stage, widows begin to feel more balanced and hopeful. They’re figuring out what the “new normal” is, and they start to feel more confident about their future. They have a better handle on managing their finances after their husband’s death because they’ve dealt with the house, taxes, investments, and retirement issues.
Stage 3 – Transformation: Widows begin to thrive as they discover new friends, new hobbies, and new goals. Some find new love and remarry. Some find that they have more time for family, charity work, and volunteering. They feel more financially prepared with estate and advanced planning taken care of.
Mistakes to Avoid
- Widows are some of the most targeted victims of financial predators because of their vulnerability. Don’t fall for the schemes; if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. Do your research and consult with a wise financial advisor before jumping at any “opportunity.”
- Don’t rush into any decisions, especially regarding your house. If someone is trying to rush you into making a decision, that’s a big red flag. Take your time, and make sure it feels right.
- Don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of financially by anyone (even family). This can be a tough one. You want to believe that your family has your best interests in mind, but honestly, money does weird things to people, and they may do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do otherwise. The safest thing to do may be consulting with a financial advisor who can remain objective about what’s best for you.
- Remain objective yourself when making financial decisions. Don’t allow your emotions to get in the way of making the best choices for your financial future. Again, this involves not making any hasty decisions that could derail you financially. Ask lots of questions, and take your time before making financial decisions of any kind.
What to Do Next
When you’re feeling overwhelmed and confused about managing your finances after your husband’s death, it’s good to take a step back and have a plan. Here are some basic steps to get you started:
- Choose the best financial advisor for you. Ask friends and family for referrals, and do your homework. Prepare a list of questions for the potential advisors, and then interview several before making your final choice.
- Determine your life values. Make sure that the financial advisor you partner with understands your goals, priorities, and life values. Ensure that both of you are on the same page as you develop your financial plan together.
- Communicate with family. Share with your family and friends what your goals are for your financial future. Confirm that they understand and respect your plan, even if they don’t totally agree with it. Remember, it’s your money and your future.
Moving Forward
Losing your husband is something few brides consider on their wedding days. Instead, they dream of the good times, the children, the love, passion, and successes they’ll enjoy together. But until death do us part are words that we mechanically speak on our wedding day without really realizing that someday it will happen.
That’s why it’s a good idea, no matter how old you are, to have a plan in place to manage your finances after the death of your spouse. Planning ahead like this can actually help to ease your stress when you’re facing the difficult reality of your husband’s passing.
This newsletter was prepared by a third party company to be used on the Russell & Company and Simple Money Tips for Women websites.
